DARLONG MARRIAGE
The DHI has its own customary laws and
an advisory board that help formulate and dictate the laws. The law does not
allow any individual to approach the court without the consent of DHI. In fact,
the DHI is the apex court of the people that dictate and make decision on all
matters of it subject; inheritance, marriage, family dispute, abduction, theft,
divorce, re-marriage, adultery, murder, orphan, dacoit, formation of
organisation, et al. Thus, directory customary law consisted of twenty eight
chapters with each chapter having not less than couple of clauses. The first
chapter speaks about the power, duties, qualifications, resignation, election,
dissolution, quota, formation and administration of the DHI while the second
chapter speaks about how the apex court can form and dissolve a village council
in every Darlong village, the qualifications of the council members, tenure,
election, application of the council, duties and how a case can be pass on to
the apex court through the council for further investigation. From the third
chapter to the eleventh chapter, the apex court dictates procedures for social
marriage, remarriage, divorce, widow and widower and others regulations related
to marriage. The Darlong, generally initiated marriage proposal through Palȃi who acted on behalf of the bride’s
as well as groom’s family i.e. each of the family had their respective Palȃi. Once a girl was selected, the boy
family sent their Palȃi to initiate
negotiation acting as negotiating agent. The agent might take Thilkhang along with them. Thilkhang was nothing but sign for a
token of bonding and a mark to keep the girl away from the approach of other
families. On reaching the girl’s home, the Palȃi
had to carefully undertake the task of negotiation assigned to him while the
host family fully understand the purpose of the sudden visits. To light up the
conversation, the girl’s parents would often asked, “Respectful men, what brought
you to our humble house?” The Palȃi
in reply would answer, “We come to ask for your Fachi for our young man”. Fachi meaning a grain was used to mean the
young girl. The proposed family were given ten days time to decide the matter
along with their kinsmen. During the ten days, any proposals from any other
boys were strictly prohibited by the village authority and were not entertained
until the Thilkhang or Thilkham was returned. Acceptation of
proposal was not a compulsion on the part of the girl and every right was granted
to accept and reject the Thilkhang if
the girl was not willing to get married. The right to reject and cancel
marriage for both the party was granted till the eleventh hour of the marriage.
If the groom refused to marry his proposed bride at the eleventh hour he had to
pay a fine in cash called Relṭhlem
and the girl had to return the groom all of the payment made in advance (if
any). On the other hand, if the proposed bride refused to marry her groom at
the eleventh hour, she had to return only the payment made in advance as a bride
price and no special penalty was imposed upon her. In every marriage, the bride
price called Hmantui-rihna, a payment
made in cash on the night before the marriage was to take place. The price was disbursed
into Puhrang, Nuhrang, Pahrang, Uhrang, Palaihman, Chamhman. The Puhrang, Nuhrang, Pahrang, Uhrang, Palaihman, Chamhman are
nothing but a share hold by the maternal uncle, mother, father, sister,
negotiating agent and friends meaning the shareholder also undertake the
responsibility to stand in time of the bride’s need and misfortune. At the fall
of night, the groom’s relatives gathered at the groom’s house and goes to the
bride’s house to finally bring the bride to her husband house. This act was
called Mawi Inlawi followed by an
important rite called Phawrinsua, a
rite in which every single thing brought by the bride was converted into an oral
document (written in the present day) that was given to the bride’s father, the
groom and the village elders as witnesses. The marriage aftermath of Christianisation
last for only a day; public announcement is made at least nineteen to twenty
five days ahead of the marriage date and the marriage takes place at the church
ministered by a pastor followed by a feast beside following the general
marriage system but the documentation is done in order to ensure that the bride
gets back all her belongings in case of disgraceful divorce and alike. However,
when a groom is from another village, he has to make a local guardian who takes
all the responsibility of being the groom’s father at the bride’s village. The
act of Phawrinsua is also performed
at the groom’s village. Phawrinsua was
made by the eldest sister of the groom or the groom’s family inclusive of
cousins. Further, in time of Mawi Inlawi
Moikhap, as did in the past is also
made today. The word Moi stands for bride and khap stands for stop. Thus Moikhap was
nothing but a tradition of stopping the bride before reaching the groom’s
house. The tradition may be considered
as a marriage rite where the groom
may be asks to pay some ransom or even his crew members may be asked to sing
and dance. However, all the conversation takes not directly with the groom or
bride but the Palȃi (the negotiating
agent). The Palȃi are usually village
elders who are intellectual enough with the practices of the community both of
the past and present. At times, the jokes created during the Moikhap were extremely harsh. In yet
another circumstances, When a marriage takes place between two different
villages and groom has go across another village that lies between his and the
bride’s village, another marriage rite call Zawlkhum
has to be made where the third party makes a similar kind of demand as in Mawikhap. In the past, the third party
was offered Zawlkhum Zu, a wine
specially made for the mentioned occasion. At other time, the stoppers may ask
the groom to produce his champion with whom they could wrestle and in return they
would a safe and free passage. Thus, Zawlkhum
was also known as Buan Ṭi
meaning wrestle threat. Failing to win in the wrestling cost Sa Dar or even a mithun but was later converted to four coins and Rs.300/-
in the present. However, Zuardar, a
fore limb of an animal taken as a token of bonding from the part of the bride’s
family was never demanded.
In
the pre-Christian period, bride price was made in kind, paid in term of Sial i.e. mithun. The legend of Liandoi Brothers portrayed Elder Liandoi chasing mithuns into the bride’s village as the price of
her bride, Siachawngi and no
negotiation was carried out in the month of Thlaphal
i.e. December. Zuar Puanri[1], Zawlkhum Zu[2],
Arkhong sen[3] were
some of the mandatory stuffs taken along by the bride. The marriage ceremony was
administered by a priest called Thiampu
in accordance to the requisite rites and rituals. The presence and the blessing
of ancestor spirits and village elders were also ensured by the Thiampu accompanied by prayers and sacrifices
to the deity and the priest holding two fowls together would chant;
“Rizung rizai chang rise,
“Indung insei inkhang,
Inlian kana awm rise.
Vakul, vahai an par tlanin,
Inri dum kana awm rise”
(English translation: Let them be
roots for the forthcoming generations while living in a house whose length and
breadth is of the same. Let birds of all kinds decorate the house with their
noisy chirping)
After the Thiampu got over with his chant, the two fowl were made to drink
the best wine to observe the movements. The observation was followed by killing
of the fowls in a stroke. If water comes out from the beak it was considered to
be a good sign or else otherwise the rite has to be repeated. As soon as the Thiampu pronounced a sign of good omen
for the couple, the groom’s friends dressed the other fowl to create laughter
for all. Subsequently, a feast followed the merry making. The meat cooked
during the feast was generally the Zuardar
‒ the forearm of an animal brought by the bride from her father’s house and the
killed fowl. Throughout the night, young men of the village remained awakened making
merriment, sharing experience and competing with each other. The following next
day was reserved for a wine and dance feast. The wine and dance feast was
followed by the returning of bride to her house at dusk. The bride finally
returned to the groom’s house after completion of a week stay at her own house.
Some marriage tradition the tribe has had from the past may be;
i) Rihnât
Inkham: It was the most desirable type of marriage in the tribe. The
marriage was based on the mutual agreement of both the bride and groom where
the Palȃi negotiate the term and
condition of the marriage with proper consent of both the parents, church and
the village council for the tradition yet survived till date. In the past, the
system allowed the bride to spend a week at her house soon after the marriage
while in the present it does not for the bride goes to the groom’s house at
night fall and the churches dictate the ceremonies and minister the
marriage.
ii) Zutuikawk:
It was a system where financial expenditure was least involved. The system was
meant for poor families who cannot effort the rites of Zuardar, Hmantuirihna and
others. The marriage allowed negotiation to take place between two families
through a Palȃi. When families agreed
for the marriage, a marriage schedule fixing rite was made by the Thiampu at the bride’s house itself.
During the marriage, a pot of wine was produced by the bride’s father and the
bride carried the pot of wine and followed the bridegroom thereafter. At the
bridegroom’s house, two red fowl were killed and feast upon.
Bȗrhul was another similar tradition to
that of Zutuikawk. Because of the
extreme poverty, some family get married in an easier way where a boy and a
girl become husband and wife in a wed lock with a pot of wine. This system of
marriage no longer prevails in the society. The basic difference between the two was Bȗrhul generally had in love young man
and woman and the negotiation might take place without the knowledge of Palȃi. In both the system, the
relatives were the only witness to the marriage. Nonetheless, question was
never made on such issue once it was pronounced by a Thiampu. The famous tale of Sakhi
Darlong depicted the practice of Burhul
when a widower married the Sakhi Darlong without the knowledge of Palȃi but Thiampui who blessed and pronounced the marriage given a pot of
wine.
iii) Chawngmoilâk:
The tradition was similar to what is called a child marriage prevalent in the early
Hindu customs. In the past, parents reserved female child of other family for their
son. In doing so, the boy family had to place a Thilkham[4]
at the house of the girl to signal that the child was reserved by somebody. The
Thilkham may be anything valuable or not
valuable such as spear, axe, dragger, hairclip, bow, arrow etc. When the two
matured in age, they were sanctioned to live together as husband and wife.
However, the boy’s family had every right to reject and remove the Thilkham placed at the house of the
reserved girl meaning which the girl was free from marriage obligation. The practice
do not looked into the willingness of the girl’s family. In the present
Darlong, the practice is no longer prevalent.
iv) Nghaksak:
Nghaksak was a practice where a man
was allowed to have a wife for a period of trial. In the word of Lalbiaknguri,
a residence of Khanchon village presently located in Dhalai district of
Tripura, 82 miles, “the trial period goes to the extent of a year or more. But,
the women were rejected failing to pass the trial”. No doubt, a woman having
passed the trail was immediately married to the man who took her for trail.
Lalbiaknguri further argued that “a woman who failed to pass the trail but
unwilling to be rejected could remain as the concubine of the man” for the past
Darlong society sanctioned the practice of polygamy.
v)
Inṭlun: It was one most wicked system of marriage that the tribe had
practiced and yet exists in the present in certain circumstances. The tradition
of Intlun[5]
allowed both man and woman the freedom to enter the house of the sex
counterpart thereby marrying him or her under obligation. Nonetheless, the act
was not performed without prior relation between the man and the woman. A boy
or a girl who make friendship or developed relationship or even acquaintance
with each other ended up in separation. Under the circumstance, either of the
two performed the act of Intlun while
their friendship, relationship or acquaintance acted in support of the deed.
The elders had nothing but to allow the marriage happened.
v) Dithangtlan:
Dithangtlan was nothing but a
marriage by elopement while also considered to be the most controversial
marriage system of the time. This particular system continued to exist till the
present days particularly when a young man and a woman failed to convince their
parents for marriage. The bride price paid in this tradition is known as Rȗkka, a price for stealing someone
else’s daughter. The amount Rȗkkha
and Hmanpui is the same i.e. 2000/-
that is disbursed into Puhrang, Nuhrang, Pahrang, Uhrang, Palaihman, Chamhman but with no fixed amount. The cash reached the bride’s
father through the Palȃi who takes
every initiative require for completion of the marriage. The term Rȗkkha has a legendary implication;
“Once
upon a time, there lived in certain a young man by the name Suanga. He was the son of a widow. One
day, the young man eloped with a beautiful young girl namely Thlukdiki from another village. In
accordance to the past dictum, one who eloped with a girl must dance across
seven forks of road before he could mate his partner for he defied the
ordinance of the ancestors. Suanga and
Thlukdiki walked a long way and had danced
across six forks in course of their journey when he stopped at a Ṭu to get some rest out of exhaustion.
The couple lay asleep for a while and Suanga
wanted to mate Thlukdiki who remained
unconvinced because her husband had not completed the task assigned to him. Suanga continued on saying ‘I have
completed six forks and I don’t think a single remaining fork would bring me
any harm. After all I am going to finish it in no time’. However, Thlukdiki remained stubborn to Suanga’s call. Eventually, Suanga’s restlessness was irresistible
on the part of Thlukdiki and the
mating happened.
Having spent some amount of time at
the Ṭu, the couple decided to move on
their journey. Thlukdiki led the part
and moved couple of meters ahead of Suanga.
No sooner did Suanga stepped out of
the Ṭu, a tiger that was hiding in
the jhum weed appeared ready to devour Suanga.
There was not a chance for Suanga’s
survival. At this Thludiki asked
Suanga, ‘Do you have any message that should I covey it to mother?’
Suanga
replied, Nemlung kamkȇi ki pȇk tȃk,
zuang ṭing inla,
Ning nei a tam ngȇn naw ning,
Relzawl i san langpat hlum ngȇn tȃng ka ti.
Zuang ṭing inla.
(Translation:
I have given my heart to the tiger/ Go now/ I pray not to survive for long/ Report
the council the reason of my death/ Go now)
Thlukdiki
reached home and reported the incident to Suanga’s
mother and the council of elders. The
council of elders was in shock and deep trouble having heard the narration of Thlukdiki. Eventually, they decided to
speak to the Zawlnei (Zawlnei were also a category of Thiampu but were said to possessed the
ability of Thumvawr- the extra power
of intuition). When the elders consulted the Zawlnei, the latter replied, ‘I have nothing to say upon the matter
it is up to you to decided what is to be done in order to avoid such
circumstances in future’. At this, the council of elders proposed to introduce
a Tlanhman to the Zawlnei and one who elopes defying the
ordinance of the ancestors must pay it to the Zawlnei. In return, the Zawlnei
will communicate with the spirits of the ancestors for safety. Elopement from
thence was considered taboo by the tribe and were very superstitious about it”
(Personal Interview).
vi) Mâk
Lût: Mâk Lût was a marriage where
the bridegrooms decide to follow the bride having completed the marriage rites
and rituals. The system was also an opportunity for the bride, often a single
girl child or even an heir to a throne and chieftainship to nominate her candidate
as the ultimate heir to her father in all means. In the early Darlong, the
system compensated the bridegroom who could not effort to pay the bride’s price
and hence offered himself as a price. The service was due to last for a period
of three to four years or more depending on the agreement made during the
negotiation. However, in the present Darlong, the marriage system hardly
prevail since it is considered as inferior to that of other marriage system and
no parents wants his boy to be a slave at someone else’s home. No doubt, the
system yet continued to survive in inevitable circumstances.
vii) Hrawlkawng
Intukpui: It was a system of marriage meant for the aged people. In the
Darlong society, marriage of an aged individual was no prohibition but an
exceptional case. At certain instance,
it may happen that an old widow and an old widower decide to establish a home
together in their old age with a proper consent of their children. In such
circumstances, the widow and the widower get married taking the consent of the Tarṭlâng or in other word the village
court. In the present society, the village council decide the rites and the
church decide the rituals required to be made by the couple while the case
nearly never happen.
viii)
Tharthlâk: The system of marriage was
nothing but a system that grant the right to the younger brothers to
automatically occupy his elder brother’s place in case of the latter’s death
i.e. the younger brother can marry his sister-in-law in case of his elder
brother’s death. However, the young man’s willingness must be considered by the
parents. In many circumstances, it was found that the husband die earlier than his
day since the tribe in the contemporary time was hunter and nomad. No doubt, in
the present Darlong this Tharthlȃk
system no longer exists in spite of the fact that the Bible Old Testament had
quote many of such instances.
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